Mentoring is like a game of chess, where every move counts, and each piece has its own job. Pieces work best when they are supporting each other, and when we play often, and learn from each game, we sharpen our skills and build our confidence. Chess rewards patience, foresight, and continuous improvement. Mentoring profits long-term changes such as increased confidence, improved decision-making, and creating developmental relationships.
Our male mentee was in grade five when he met his first mentor at school. He was very shy, scared and did not talk without having a school staff member in the room while he played UNO with his mentor. This young person lived with his grandmother and did not have any male role models in his life, so being alone with an adult male felt scary to him. Slowly over the course of the school year, he was able to relax and enjoyed playing sports and games with his mentor.
The next school year, he entered middle school and he had to be re-matched with a new mentor, Fear visited again, but this time it was expressed through anger and resistance to following rules. He did not have the same school support and had to meet with his new mentor all by himself. Over the course of the school year, the mentor showed up each week with activity ideas and a BIG smile. Towards the end of the year the match bonded over origami and learning to build models. BIG changes happened over the summer and this mentee was introduced to cannabis by his biological parent.
Thankfully, he was re-matched with the same mentor because this mentee would come to school high, fall asleep in class, get suspended for fighting, and yell insults to teachers. He was difficult to connect to and resistant to talking, so his mentor had a BIG idea… he introduced the mentee to the game of chess. It was through the game they discussed things happening in the mentee’s life. His mentor taught him to think about the long-game and not try to get short-term wins, to be patient, to not give up, and mistakes were okay to make.
Slowly, the mentee began to understand the game of chess, and began taking those rules and strategies and applied them to his life. Halfway through his grade seven year, this mentee is no longer using cannabis at school, he is focused on his academics, and he is building more respectful relationships at school. All because a mentor did not give up on him and found a way to connect and communicate with a young person who did not know his next move. This mentee is now on a path of improvement because he had a role model who showed up, created a safe space, and showed genuine care and support all while playing chess…. one hour…..each week.